11 days with baby....my boobs hurt!

Breastfeeding sucks! My nipples are so sore that they hurt constantly. Newborns have to eat every 2 to 4 hours and I am beginning to think that is all I do. Thankfully I have this great book that Missy bought for me months and months ago about breastfeeding that has a journal part and a daily chart to keep track of everything. I realized at the hospital that I was going to have to write everything down because I was constantly being asked "how long since she fed?" and I was constantly answering "uh........well......um......I think it was about..." And in order to be able to determine if she is eating enough, you need to keep track of how much she pees and poops. This journal thingy is great too because there is also a chart to keep track of everything I eat. I can't fit into any of my clothes and I am still wearing maternity clothes, so that will turn out to be useful too. At the doctor's office last Wednesday I weighed 158 pounds. Pre-pregnancy I weighed 128........I think I went way overboard on the pregnancy weight gain!
Hopefully Lily and I will get this breastfeeding technique down soon so my boobs won't hurt so much. Everything I read says that if baby "latches on" correctly than it isn't painful and then they go through the steps of a "proper Latch" but obviously we haven't gotten it down right.
Wish us luck!

Experiencing Childbirth

They say that childbirth is a miracle, I cannot think of any better way to describe it. It was definitely the most spiritual experience that I have ever encountered. The cycle of life is the most amazing thing. I cannot explain the joy that I was feeling at the moment that this picture was taken. As I write this Lily is one week old and this is her original due date, and I cry every time I see this picture. I had it very easy because I didn't have to do labor, but I was so scared none the less.
I had to start fasting at midnight Wednesday and we went to the hospital at 9:30AM. They sent us to the family waiting room and left us there with no more information or anything until 12:30PM. At that time a nurse (her name was Lillian!) came and told us that there had been too many births that day and that they would be moving my surgery back to 5PM. I begged her to let me have something to drink because I was SOOOOO thirsty, and she caved and gave me about an ounce of crushed ice (so generous). By this time my Aunt Charlotte, her boyfriend, and my cousin Sandy had arrived so we all went back to my house to kill a few hours. I went to sleep because I was so weak from lack of food or water and they all went out to eat. I got the best sleep that I have had in months because I didn't have to get up to pee every 15 minutes.
At 5 I called the hospital and they said for me to wait a few more minutes to let them find out weather or not they could do the procedure. At this point I am dying of thirst. Finally, when I called back at 6 they said come on in and we'll operate. Off we went.
As we are walking into the hospital I start to panic because unlike earlier that day, I am now wide awake and VERY scared of the operation. They shuffle me around a little because it seems that most of the nurses are unaware that I am supposed to be there. This of course sends me into super-fright because I really want everyone to know exactly what is happening. A c-section may be no big deal to them, but to me, it is a very big deal!
They put me in a gown and after two attempts, put in an IV. This makes my entire arm cold, but completes one of the things that I was scared of. The next thing that I was afraid of comes next....the catheter. Yuck. This pinches a little, but not nearly as bad as I was expecting. Now, more waiting. About 30 minutes later my doctor comes in and says "ok, are you ready?"
By this time I have cried buckets and poor Ross has had to work so hard to reassure me and keep me calm.
Then the hard part. They wheel me into the OR and move me to this very narrow little bed with planks for your arms that stick straight out the sides like a horizontal cross. I have to sit up and curl my back for the epidural. I kept thinking about the fact that I VOLUNTARILY spent three hours letting a tattoo artist put needles in my back so I shouldn't freak about this one. Yes, it hurt. Hurt like hell. And it made me twitch, but about 30 seconds later I started losing feeling in my feet. ahhh relax a little. Within a minute I could no longer move my legs. From here everything moved very quickly. Ross was next to me stroking my head and made me feel so good about everything. I felt like I was going to vomit so he held a pan under my chin. They adjusted my meds and the vomit feeling went away. I then had a hard time breathing and they adjusted something else and that went away.
The only thing I can feel at this time is what feels like people pushing on my stomach in all different areas. I felt this for about 10 minutes or so then I felt this spiritual out of body experience. Literally. I felt Lily coming out of my body! But not physically. I just knew it in my heart. Then I hear the doctor call the time of birth. Then I hear her cry.
I can't explain what I felt here. The best feeling in the world.
I see here over at a table over to the side and they are cleaning her up. They brought her over so I could see her and all I could do was cry. I couldn't move any part of my body and I couldn't hold her, but they put her close enough for her to touch my cheek and I could kiss her. This is the most special moment of my life. Everything else I have ever done is unimportant.
It took another 30 minutes or so for them to sew me up and then they turned off the meds and I began to be able to move my arms and after they moved me to the rolling bed they let me hold my baby. I got to hold her as they wheeled me to recovery and she had her eyes open looking at me the entire time. The rest of the world disappeared.
Once in recovery they took her to the nursery and Ross went too. The drugs knocked me out.

It's a Girl

Thursday, July 13, 2006
8:46 PM
7 lbs 9 oz
17.5 inches

Nesting, Belly Lines, Veins and heartburn

I think Ross is nesting more than I am. I feel like I am set up and ready, as far as the house goes. I have a to-do-before-Thursday list, but it mostly entails things like exchanging duplicate gifts and finishing thank you notes and getting my website orders up to date in order to leave it for a few days. I am not feeling the overwhelming urdge to decorate or clean as I keep reading about. I think Ross is though. He is a VERY neat person anyway, but this past week he has over cleaned and tackled little home projects that we both have been setting asside for months. But of course, his mum is arriving the same day as Lily, so maybe he is also trying to prepare to show off his house to his mum? Either way, he doesn't say much about being excited, but it is easy to see that he is feeling some rush from all of this.

I am dying to know what my belly will look like after the surgery. I keep reading that it still takes awhile to shrink back down and to expect to look about 5 months pregnant when leaving the hospital, but I have gotten so used to this giant entity that hangs out in front of me, that I forgot what that was like. Couple of weird things too. There is this thing called the Linea Niegra (I may be spelling that wrong) that is a dark pigmented line that goes from the belly button to about where your pubic hair starts (not a hairy line, it is your actual skin). Aparently, everyone has this, but it only shows up on pregnant ladies and is supposed to go away after birth. I never got this, but if you look at my belly shot, I DO have one, it is just from my belly button UP! I completely have a backward child! Maybe it is because her father is from the other hemisphere! :)
Another gross thing about my belly. You can see all my viens on the sides. Sure hope that goes away.
Lots of people at this stage of pregnancy experience the baby "dropping" and it is supposed to change the discomforts a little. It is supposed to put more pressure on the bladder, but at the same time releiving the out of breath feeling and the heartburn a little. Well, because Lily is sideways, she can't drop. So, unfortunately, no relief of the heartburn. I would gladly trade off a few more bathroom visists to get rid of some of the flames inside my esophogus!

6-30-2006

Sorry about the delay, I just haven't downloaded my camera lately, this was from June 30th.

This is the way I dress around the house all the time. Poor Ross, he may never find me attractive ever again. This is a tank top that was small, back when I was small! And as you can see, I am wearing it inside out because I am completely unwilling to put out the effort to dress properly.

I'm having a celebrity birth

We just got back from the doctor's office and it is now official. We are having a C-section. They scheduled it for a week from tomorrow. Thursday, July 13th. I am overwhelmed with emotions right now. I am happy that I don't have to go through labor, but I kinda feel like I am cheating. I am nervous about the surgery because I have never had a surgery before. I am frightened that I have to be awake through it too because I am very squeamish about blood and medical stuff. Ross is worried about the money, but I have been broke and in debt for so long that I am used to not having anything in the bank. I am also feeling a rush of nerves because now I no longer have almost 3 weeks to prepare, I have a week! There is so many little loose ends to tie up.
One of the nights that I have to stay in the hospital, Ross is actually going to have to work! His boss took off the whole month of July, which wouldn't be too much of a problem except that his girlfriend who is with him, is also a bartender! AND the other girl that Ross usually works with planned her vacation for the weekend of the 14th so she would make sure to be there to cover for Ross the weekend of the 22nd, but now that the baby is coming a week early, there is no one left to work for Ross. Luckily there is only a conflict on the one night while I am still in the hospital because I think I will really need him more after we come home.
The other conflict is that the 13th is the same day that Marge is getting here from Zimbabwe. She would have been flying for something like 36 hours and arrive to us already having the baby. We are scheduled for surgery at 12:30 and her flight gets in at 4:00. I hope she doesn't mind Brandi picking her up from the airport because I am not letting Ross leave my side!
I don't know if I am really ready to take care of a baby yet! I know I should have been thinking about all this way before now, but I feel like everything just kinda hit me!

Week 37

Baby Shower

WOW did I get a bunch of stuff this weekend at my baby shower! It was great. Brandi, Sam and Veronika put on such a great party for us. Ross didn't get to stay the whole time, because he had to work, but so many people came and shared the afternoon with us. We got TONS of presents....way more than I would have ever expected. We really have some VERY generous friends and family and I really have my work cut out for me writing thank you notes.

I am also so super happy that several of my friends made long journeys to come down. Chris flew down from Atlanta, Nichole from St. Pete and Rikki from Lake City!!! I was really feeling the love this weekend.

Ross and I haven't bought a camera yet, so I am waiting for my friends to send me their copies of the pictures. The ones here are from Rikki. I will post more as soon as people pass them to me.

Hope everyone has a nice and safe independence day celebration. I am going to skip it this year because I really don't want to fight the crowds at the beach and the traffic and the drunks. Zelda and I will probably kick back with a pizza (Ross has to work).

oh, and more exciting stuff. I made a post on Craig's list to try and find a rocking chair and someone is willing to sell me theirs for only $25.00! I have been looking high and low for a rocking chair for months now. All the stores have now-a-days are gliders. I also didn't want to spend a bunch so I have been scouring the yard sales and goodwills. I am thrilled that I finally found one.

Wednesday we find out weather or not we will be scheduling a C-section, so check back!