Experiencing Childbirth

They say that childbirth is a miracle, I cannot think of any better way to describe it. It was definitely the most spiritual experience that I have ever encountered. The cycle of life is the most amazing thing. I cannot explain the joy that I was feeling at the moment that this picture was taken. As I write this Lily is one week old and this is her original due date, and I cry every time I see this picture. I had it very easy because I didn't have to do labor, but I was so scared none the less.
I had to start fasting at midnight Wednesday and we went to the hospital at 9:30AM. They sent us to the family waiting room and left us there with no more information or anything until 12:30PM. At that time a nurse (her name was Lillian!) came and told us that there had been too many births that day and that they would be moving my surgery back to 5PM. I begged her to let me have something to drink because I was SOOOOO thirsty, and she caved and gave me about an ounce of crushed ice (so generous). By this time my Aunt Charlotte, her boyfriend, and my cousin Sandy had arrived so we all went back to my house to kill a few hours. I went to sleep because I was so weak from lack of food or water and they all went out to eat. I got the best sleep that I have had in months because I didn't have to get up to pee every 15 minutes.
At 5 I called the hospital and they said for me to wait a few more minutes to let them find out weather or not they could do the procedure. At this point I am dying of thirst. Finally, when I called back at 6 they said come on in and we'll operate. Off we went.
As we are walking into the hospital I start to panic because unlike earlier that day, I am now wide awake and VERY scared of the operation. They shuffle me around a little because it seems that most of the nurses are unaware that I am supposed to be there. This of course sends me into super-fright because I really want everyone to know exactly what is happening. A c-section may be no big deal to them, but to me, it is a very big deal!
They put me in a gown and after two attempts, put in an IV. This makes my entire arm cold, but completes one of the things that I was scared of. The next thing that I was afraid of comes next....the catheter. Yuck. This pinches a little, but not nearly as bad as I was expecting. Now, more waiting. About 30 minutes later my doctor comes in and says "ok, are you ready?"
By this time I have cried buckets and poor Ross has had to work so hard to reassure me and keep me calm.
Then the hard part. They wheel me into the OR and move me to this very narrow little bed with planks for your arms that stick straight out the sides like a horizontal cross. I have to sit up and curl my back for the epidural. I kept thinking about the fact that I VOLUNTARILY spent three hours letting a tattoo artist put needles in my back so I shouldn't freak about this one. Yes, it hurt. Hurt like hell. And it made me twitch, but about 30 seconds later I started losing feeling in my feet. ahhh relax a little. Within a minute I could no longer move my legs. From here everything moved very quickly. Ross was next to me stroking my head and made me feel so good about everything. I felt like I was going to vomit so he held a pan under my chin. They adjusted my meds and the vomit feeling went away. I then had a hard time breathing and they adjusted something else and that went away.
The only thing I can feel at this time is what feels like people pushing on my stomach in all different areas. I felt this for about 10 minutes or so then I felt this spiritual out of body experience. Literally. I felt Lily coming out of my body! But not physically. I just knew it in my heart. Then I hear the doctor call the time of birth. Then I hear her cry.
I can't explain what I felt here. The best feeling in the world.
I see here over at a table over to the side and they are cleaning her up. They brought her over so I could see her and all I could do was cry. I couldn't move any part of my body and I couldn't hold her, but they put her close enough for her to touch my cheek and I could kiss her. This is the most special moment of my life. Everything else I have ever done is unimportant.
It took another 30 minutes or so for them to sew me up and then they turned off the meds and I began to be able to move my arms and after they moved me to the rolling bed they let me hold my baby. I got to hold her as they wheeled me to recovery and she had her eyes open looking at me the entire time. The rest of the world disappeared.
Once in recovery they took her to the nursery and Ross went too. The drugs knocked me out.