Football & the Zoo

Saturday I was singing the praises of modern technology. If it weren;t for my DVR I would never have gotten to watch the game. I think Lily gets tired of being in the house sometimes. She was so hard to entertain, but I discovered that the sugar canister keeps her happy. I guess because it is shiny and makes a funny sound when she bangs on it. And I don't think she is an FSU fan. She cried so loud when FSU scored and threw up on 3 different seminole outfits and kept pulling off her FSU socks.

Yesterday we went to the Zoo with the Starnes family. Lily was an ANGEL. She just sat in the stroller all day smiling and flirting with everyone who looked her way. She had cerel next to the elephants and played so nicely with Emily, Mike & Max. We can't wait until Lily gets big enough to run around with Emily. She is 10 months younger so right now the difference is pretty big, but not for long. Sam & I were also talking about how fun it will be when M&M are old enough to babysit for the girls and we can go out for a night on the town. They turned 8 on Thursday, so just a few more years.

Turned over today

Lily finally turned over all by herself today. She has been oh-so-close for a week now. She can only turn from laying on her back to her stomach, not the other way around yet. She can even get her arm out from under her once she is on her stomach too!

I really thought she would never do it because she hates tummy time so much. She gets so frustrated on her stomach that I have to turn her back onto her back. I think she gets angry either because she is too weak to pick herself up, or because she wants to crawl and can't.

The picture is Lily modeling her new belt that I made for her. I have this OCD thing that if pants have belt loops than they must have a belt. Well, Lily's pants had loops, so she needed a belt. Good thing her mom is a seamstress!

Thanksgiving

Lily gave us something to be thankful for....an extra long nap. She napped for about 4 hours in the middle of the day. I got some sewing done AND a nap for myself!!

We didn't do anything but take a walk at the beach. I finally figured out how to use the auto function on the camera so we attempted to take a family picture. As you can see my jester of a husband was "standing like a soldier". Also, do you notice that I am wearing a sweater and pants and Ross is just crazy enough to go swimming? There was absolutely no one in the water and I had to put Lily's jacket on her because it was so cold.

Birthday week

I am beginning to hate holidays. I am starting to hate them because I love them. I know that doesn't make sense, but hear me out. I love holidays, I love the holiday preparations and the excitement & anticipation. However, now I hate the holidays because there isn't any of that anymore. Halloween sucked. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and this is my birthday week. I have no plans for either. I wanted to cook thanksgiving dinner here, but we really couldn't afford it so we passed on that plan. I keep asking everyone I talk to what their plans are hoping that there is something going on that we could participate in, but nope. So, because Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday anyway, I figured I would forget it and concentrate on planning something fun for my birthday. Well, that doesn't seem to be working out either. The one person who actually did call me back has to work. :( I guess all my fun days with adults are over.
enough depressing thoughts. Here is a video of Lily in her Johnny jump up. Notice how she is learning her name and looks when we call her (sometimes). She likes this toy because not only can she jump, but she can spin around following Zelda.

Funny pics

In this picture, doesn't Lily look like Ross when he is wasted? And the one with the remote, she chose the remote over her toys. Every morning after she eats we go into the studio so I can either ship some orders or get some sewing done. This seems like the only time of the day that she will sit for a half our or so. Well, I was turning on the TV and Lily threw down her toy and squeeled for the remote. It is neat that she is starting to show interest in certain things but she gets frustrated alot because she can't really express what she wants. She has figured out that making a loud noise always gets someone to look at her. Her little way of demanding attention. I am sure it will get old soon, but I think it is sweet because she screaches, I look, and then she give the super-big dimply smile. Like she is flirting with me.
She has finally figured out the johnny jump up. At first she just hung there and would kick one leg a little, just enough to make her walk in circles. Then she started stamping her feet, and then I think on accident, she kicked both of her feet at the same time and it jumped. She squeeled in delight and then instantly started jumping. I got it on video, I just don't have the time to upload it right now. I need to get to work...got a bunch of sales to process:) :) :)

Couldn't help but to show you

Sorry, I know that anyone reading this is reading for the info on Lily, but I couldn't help myself. I am so obsessed with my business right now that I can't think of much else but Lily and how to sell more stuff. I just got in these shoes and I absolutely love them and want to keep them all. Maybe if sales are good over the holidays I can. I actually have gotten myself into a bit of a pinch right now. I started this business with only $3,000. So, in order to build an inventory worthy of hosting a website I have been ordering things on credit and then putting every dime back into the company. I have been emptying out my account every week writing checks to credit card companies. Sales have been good, but these next two weeks are going to be a crunch because I think I over ordered for the holiday season. There were a few weeks where I didn't have any inventory coming in, and I was selling well so I kept ordering more stuff. I have a shipment coming in next week that I need to pay for and I don't have enough in my account or on my credit card! Yikes! I'll make it if I sell $300 worth of merch this week. Last month I sold $2,000, so $300 in a week is definately do-able but it is making me a nervous wreck. It is exciting though. I love the excitement! I gotta go, I have a design for a new jumper that is bouncing around in my head that I have to get sewn in order for me to get any sleep.
Yes, on top of caring for Lily, running a business and working at monstertixx, I am still sewing.

Spoonfed

Wednesday we started feeding Lily cereal with a SPOON!! I was so nervous but Lily took to it well. She had been getting to the point where she was eating a full 8 ounces of formula at just about every feed, so we felt that it was time to give her something more to fill her tummy. She only gets down maybe a teaspoon or two before she gets frustrated, but it is a little milestone.

Gangster Lily

Brandi's ex-boyfriend collects air jordans (yes... the shoe...wears 'em once then they join the collection) so he bought Lily some Jordan presents. I love the hat and the shoes match. She looks like a little gangster, and Ross makes fun, but I think it is adorable.
Lately Lily's interest in the dog is increasing. She loves to lay on the floor and watch Zelda run all around her. Zelda is really great with her too. She sits very still when Lily reaches out to pet her, and doesn't react at all if Lily grabs her fur. I know she has got a strong pinch and Zelda probably hates it, but she doesn't act badly when it happens. In this movie you can see that Zelda runs past and Lily loses interest in everything to watch Zelda.

Pumpkinhead

Lily has the biggest head on earth! Every time I am out somewhere and see a baby her age I always think that they have a tiny head, only because I am so used to seeing my pumpkin-head every day. Ross and I have been joking that she probably thinks her name is pumpkinhead because we call her that so much.
She has a ton of clothes and is outgrowing them very quickly so I have been going through stuff and putting her in it "one last time" before putting it in a box for #2 later. Yesterday I dressed her in the dress pictured and laughed and laughed all morning because of that hat. If any of you have been following my blog for awhile you may remember a post about a hat that Ross thought was ridiculous because it was so big....well now it won't even cover her head! One pic taken at 4 weeks and the other on her 4 month birthday. Notice how the legs have gone from skinny little things to big and chunky!

Missing my mom

(This picture is of Brandi, Jen & my mom in '01, and as you can see, she was in the middle of Chemo and not afraid to pretend to be one of Charlie's Angels)

Maybe it is because I lost my mom at a critical time in my adult life, but I worry so much that I won't be able to teach Lily everything she needs to know in life. I realize that there is nothing I can do to control that, and right now all she needs is to be safe, fed, dry and loved, but I try to tell her everything. I talk to her telling her things that I wish my mom could have told me. I try to teach her everything even though I know she doesn't understand. I tell her things like what kind of man she should marry. I tell her how she should always put money away just for herself no matter what. I tell her about what it is like to have a baby and how much she has changed my life. If anyone was ever looking in on me when Lily and I talk during the day they would think I was crazy because I talk to her like she is an adult. I write everything down just in case. I guess deep down I have a fear that I will die young too and I want to make sure Lily doesn't miss anything. It isn't really like I am truly frightened, but sometimes I feel like I need to hurry up. In a way it is good because I don't take anything for granted, I just don't think it is healthy to worry so much. I know my mom is in me, and I feel her presence more than ever since becoming a mom, but there is so much that I wish she was here for. I wish I could pick up the phone and ask a quick question or ask some simple advice. I wish I could talk to her about raising a child. I wish I could share with her how proud I am of Lily. And I really wish I knew more about her. In the years since she has gone I have realized how little I knew about her. She was so dedicated to raising us that she always put herself second and in my selfishness I never bothered to get to know her like I wish I would have. I tell Lily all about her Grandma all the time and just hope I can be as good of a mom as mine was.

New Toys

This is the first toy that I bought for Lily. She has TONS of toys, but this is the first one that WE bought for her. It was an attempt to keep her busy so that I can free up an arm and actually get things done during the day. WRONG. I think it will be good for her later because right now she isn't tall enough for her feet to touch the bottom. Once she can reach the bottom it spins around and bounces. I wanted the "exer-saucer" but it is $65.00, so being the bargain huntress that I am, I got this one at a thrift store for $9.99. I scrubbed it down with bleach and then again with Lysol and now it is good as new! She likes it for about 10 minutes then starts screaming, I guess 10 minutes is better than nothing.
She has figured out that certain toys make noises when she shakes them so it is pretty entertaining to watch her flail around. The problem being that so many of the toys are hard plastic and she hits herself in the head with them. This doll is VINTAGE, it is a doll I had when I was a tot and she likes it best.

I miss Lily when I am at work

There are at least a couple of times a day I get stressed or frazzled and can't wait for Lily to go to sleep or for Ross to take her for a few minutes, so it is strange that after only a couple of hours without her, I miss her. I only work 2 days a week from 10 to 5 (not counting my many many hours spent on my webstores...but that is from home so it doesn't count) so it is hard to imagine that in that short amount of time I would miss her so much. There are lots of times I even log onto this blog to look at her pictures. or sometimes after she has been asleep for an hour or two I go into her room and want so badly to pick her up and cuddle her. It is like nothing I have ever felt before and it gets stronger every day. I can't imagine how hard it is going to be when she starts to grow up and doesn't want me around all the time.

Our Day Off

Wednesdays are our Sunday. Ross and I are both off and most weeks we end up spending the day cleaning or catching up on errands. So, lately we have been trying to make it more of a fun day instead in order to keep us sane. We went and visited some friends who just bought a new house. Lily threw up everywhere then fell alseep. We came home, played some video games and then went to the beach. We have to go to the beach late in the day so that our luminescent child doesn't get sunburned. Ross swam but I think it is too cold to swim this time of year. We had a nice day but by the end Lily was very cranky and cried uncontrollabily through her whole bath. I must be a bad mom because I laughed at her. When she cries hard her whole body turns red!!

Foot in the mouth

oh I forgot....Lily finally got her foot in her mouth last night. She did it while she was in the bathtub. I knew it wouldn't be long!

Banchee

I don't really know what a banchee is, but Lily sure screams like one. A few days ago I posted a movie of Lily squeeling. Well, in the days since that move it has turned into a full scream. and now it is ALL THE TIME! It was really cute when it was a little squeel here and there, but now it is just pain annoying. I know I am not supposed to get annoyed with my baby, but I am, I can't help it. She squeels when she is happy, excited, sad, hungry, bored, tired, awake and mad. The only time she isn't squeeling is when she is pooping, sleeping or on a stroller ride. Maybe this is her way of making sure that I get my exercise. She must know I have been a slacker lately and will never fit into my old pants without some encouragement.

Standing Lily

Ross Zelda & Lily

Lately Lily keeps trying to pet Zelda. Ross worries that she'll grab her in a way that will make Zelda snap at her. I don't think that will happen. I think Zelda is smart enough to know that Lily is a baby and that she has to be nice. I let them play togethter as much as they can, but I am careful not to let Zelda lick Lily's face.

Work & a baby

The weather has been so nice lately! We've been able to have the AC off for two days now. Yay! my electric bill could sure use the break! I have moved my "office" outside on the back portch and have gotten so much work done. Lily likes being outside and will always sit longer outside than in. Lily also has started sqeeling all the time. I got it on video finally. That is what she did today for almost an hour while I sewed. I am actually, finally for the first time in months, all caught up and up to date with my work. I even finished off a few unfinshed sewing projects! I think I am going to work outside the entire winter! Maybe earn enough money to get a pool by spring.

Lily is learning

Lily's personality has grown so much. She gets to be more fun to play with every day. At first the challenge of the day was just to keep her fed and warm. Now, we have to keep her entertained. The only reason I am even able to type this is because I type well and can do this while making faces at Lily. We are sitting outside (she loves it outside) and she is in her playpen next to me making faces. She has completely mastered the hand in the mouth so now she is moving on to her new challenge of getting her foot in her mouth. Last weekend she finally accomplished reaching and holding onto her foot, and all week she has been trying to get it in her mouth. She has come very close, but hasn't quite made it yet. This morning she got the fabric of her pajamas in there and soaked her pajamas in drool. She has gotten very good at assisted standing too and will stand for several minutes at a time. She also has just begun looking at herself in mirrors. Up until this week she would never do that. Our living room wall is mirrored and if we tried to get her to look in the mirror she only would look at my reflection and not her own. Another accomplishment is that she shakes her dolly now. Her favorite toy is a doll that rattles when you shake it. She reaches for it and usually if she can grip it she will just put it in her mouth (or smack her face with it in attempt at getting it in her mouth) but yesterday she figured out that if she flails her arms around after getting a grip on the doll than it makes noise. The funny part is that she doesn't always get a good enough grip on it so sometimes she just flings it across the room and continues to flail her arms. She only seems to have a really good grip when she is pulling my hair out from the root or grasping for Ross's chest hair.

Halloween

I can't tell you how disapointed I was with Halloween this year! IT SUCKED! I knew things would be different now that I am a mom and I don't work in a bar, but I didn't think it would be this sad. I got dressed in a costume just like always. I got Lily dressed up in her costume too. Ross tried to go get us a pumpkin to carve, but because they started selling them in August they were all rotten. So, we didn't get to make a jack-o-lantern....first disapointment. Note to self....buy one early next year! Lily and I got our big bowl of candy and waited by the door anxious to see cute little kids trick-or-treating. Disapointment #2. Not one person knocked on our door! We had our lights on and our Halloween flag, no jack-o-lantern, but you could still tell we were Halloween friendly. If you are reading this and you live close by......please come over and eat some of this candy. It makes me sad to see that giant bowl still there by the door, and then when I get sad about it I start eating them!
The only good thing was how cute Ross and Lily looked in their costumes. Lily also got a kick out of being a pea in a pod. Every time you said "pea in a pod" she giggled. She is definately my child....she loved being in a costume.